My Blog

Been very long since i last made an entry… well guess i was pretty busy nowadays and had lots to cope. However the reflection process goes on everyday and i think i shld really pen down my thought so that i have a reference point, just in case i got too tired to even remember where i last reflected upon.
That day on the way home i was in the lift and i saw this Malay Boy with his grandma. The scence is so clearly etched into my memories that i just can’t seem to wipe it off. I was quite shock to find such a scene in Singapore. One that made me ponder whether al SINGAPOREANS are self sustainable to the high living standards here.
Remember in my JC 1 days when i made a trip to INDONESIA for CIP. There was once that i saw the kids and family strugling for their livelihood and just being grateful for what they have. Wonderful things that GOD gave to us for free… like presents on Christmas Day morning that we take for granted. Never ever doubting where do al these Gifts come from or how lucky we are to have them….
There was once we went to this primary sch in Indonesia and was handing out one packet of rice with curry gravy and a chicken thigh for each kid during their lunch break. They were really overjoyed and we were like ???? what’s so great abt a packet of rice anyway??? After each kid were given a packet, they were dispatched to their respective tables to eat. Within 5 mins, 1 kid came to ask me whther second helpin was possible? I handed him 1 more packet and said no more. He reaction overwhelmed me as he kissed my hands and God bless You… HAHA… I was touched but still didn’t understand why my small geature can cause an atomic bomb reaction..I merely brush it off as cultural difference.
When i was doin my rounds, i saw this boy that got the second helping from me happily eating this second packet of rice with 5 other friends… HMMMM 5 OTHER FRENS?? so i went to access the situation on hand. I realised that those kids came from extended families and that they were so poor that their parents can only afford to send 1 kid out of the dozens and dozens then have to school. Those who are chosent o sent to school for education ( a chance for better future) were deem super duper lucky. So they actually shared the packet of rice and shared the chicken thigh with 5 frens so that they can save the previous packet for their sibilings at home!!!!!! WOW!!!! SHocked.. Like chicken rice is only 2 dollars?? thight meat the most 2.50 or sumthing??
I was totally dumbstruck and sat there stoning for quite a while before I went to check out whther there were more packets left and made a metal note to ensure more packets were available for tommorrow’s meal.
What shocked me as that I saw this scene that made me thankful for GOD and his selflessness to provide and love us without any strings attached. This Malay Boy was holding a packet of NASI LEMAK and both he and his grandma enmit this slight pungent smell that made me glad that the NASI LEMAK was strong to prevent me from fainting.. They were poorly dressed.. as in not unfashionable, but poorly dreseed as in torn and tattered, communicating in Malayu which I didnt understand although I was OBVIOUSLY EARSDROPPING =) but what i can see was the boy kept lifting the packet of NASI LEMAK to his nose and smell and his eyes shone like stars on a CHristmas TRee and the adoration of his grandma can’t escape my eyes.. And the grandma did not have any NASI LEMAK. Only 1 packet but she smiled at the boy and place her hand gently on his head and i heard her stomach growling. WOW…..That scene was touching. Really touchin and i felt it..
They must be very poor for this boy LIVING IN SINAGPORE to carefully hold this packet of NASI LEMAK so closely in his arms using both his hands to support the base… that made me wonder wther we are realli that far away from poverty??
Nowadays Kids get so pampered that the simple simple things in life are taken for granted and parents have to fulfill what their kids want by giving them higher quality stuffs cuz simple things cannot satisfy these naughty brats anymore. SIMPLE THINGS ARE COMPULSORY… if u buy me better things than my peers then it proves that u LOVE me… IS it right to equate material satisfaction to LOVE??
What can we do to really help ppl around us?? Why do all the big talking and giving ourselves excuses that good work can be left for another day or for other ppl with bigger hearts out there? Why say that Indonesia,Africa, India etc are too far and we are not independent enough to go help when what u really need to do is reach out… START SMALL… start with ppl around you, those in Singapore..

   Long time since i came online to update my blog le… now in sch… PSLE marking week but I am supposed to work office time… 8 to 5.Now then i realised blog also can be in mandarin. Later i go and try… hehe

    This morning when i woke up, the sky was calm and BLUE so was my feelings… wake up to another day to go school. Then i thought about the filings i had to complete for the english department then i became depressed and was GREEN with envy at those teacher who are posted as markers or recorders of the PSLE marks. They dun need to report so early and can go home early. Not like me, i am tracked due to the electronic timer system in school.

   Then I received a pphone call that totally manage to ruin my day. It made me turn RED with anger at how irresponsible and demanding this parent can be….i went to consult the principal and got feedbacks. The school consellor will investigate the problem and i am anxiously PURPLE, awaiting the results…

   i went to carehub just now to peek at one of my students. haha… he so scared to see me cuz i’ll give him more homework….i was ORANGE with gee when i told him to see me after his lunch…. haha… manage to interupt his UNO game…. who ask him always dun complete his homework, end yr round the corner still play play play…his mum hopes i can supervise him everyday… sad for him… but no choice la…

   HE is the joker in my class…. hopefully that later he will be able to light up my day a bit…by being the YELLOW light. Quite adorable la… but mischievious…always fart loudly in class… frequency of 5 per hour. MAybe stomach got prob. ( Eunice will be intetrested in this boy lor) I can imagine if i told Eunice about him, she will say… we shall pray for him… hahaz…

   Not bad la… thinking of him only brightens my day already… think i am mentally ready for the challenge to complete my work again le…

   Oh ya… just now i got praised by the principal!!! Whee… so happy…She says that these few weeks i have been learning a lot… like an exponential graph and she is impressed at teh amount of effort anf time i have been putting in to handle these notoriously famous students in my class…he he he… hmmm…. seems like i am fully charged up again…

tata. Ps( Jo i lazy to reply ur msg, nowadays my energy is constantly been sucked away by 36 attention seeking monsters till i am too drained to move a muscle to reply ur msg…. or even generate enough glucose to my brain to think of wad to reply u.. haha… my mind is blank lor… totally blank…really really blank to an extend of blankness.)

Being in LOVE is like acrobats performing in air during a circus show.

Partners must accommodate, support, trust and understand each other to present the best show ever.

What people fail to realise is that LOVE does not provide them with the strong and sturdy safety net these acrobats have.

When we fall, we fall down and fall hard.

                       Although the lake water is cold,

                       I wadded towards it.

                       Cuz i wanted to clarify,

                       the things that are unsure to me.

                       I do not know what my heart thinks,

                       whether I am really unsure

                       or maybe i thought i am unsure

                       that’s why it became unsure.

                       If these mistakes were due to my doubtfulness,

                       then what can i do to be sure

                       that my doubtfulness caused it?

                       If these mistakes were due to others’ doubtfulness,

                       then how do i gain certainty from them

                       that they were the ones who caused those mistakes?

                       The lake’s water is very cold,

                       and i keep shivering

                       till i can’t breathe.

                       this cold constricts me…….

                       The only thing that i am sure of,

                       out of all these doubtfulness,

                       is that, I have a choice,

                       to wadded back to bank

                       or to the opposite bank of this cold cold lake.

i am angry angry angry…. how can  people be soo soo soo ungentlemanly… haiz…but i like jo’s way of phrasin la… that nine out of ten ppl may not be able to strike a topic with u… and those that can or at least make an effort to try will be ur true fren… but i thnk i have the right to be angry cuz i dun think i have fault at all lei… haiz… but maybe i too sensitive or is it tryin to kick a mountain out of a mole hill… but this time i reali realli dun see anythin wrong… unless i am super irritatin and ppl just can’t wait to get out and away from me and my stupid useless chattering,,, am i a monkey or wad?? dun like me to talk then tell me to shut up in the face la… haha…

haiz… i type out cool down le… but to be fair i will still post this blog entry… but it realli proves how saddenin frenship can be at times… expectation too high, ppl start to fall short of ur expectation.. expectation too low then muz well dun make frens,,, frenshp will never work out if it is a one way thing… NEXT TIME IF U LOVE SUMONE, PUT UR LOVE IN A CIRCLE BUT NOT UR HEART, CUZ UR HEART WILL BREAK BUT A CIRCLE GOES ON FOREVER….

i think it really takes time and pains to understand ppl and  accept wad they are… muz be big hearted,,, but i really dun care whether it is a big mistake or small prob… once i think it is wrong then it’s wrong.. if ppl are right i praise, if i can i forgive, ppl are wrong i say out straightforwadly, many cant accept…. but i still think that’s they easiest way to solve problems… if i am really that irritatin then i’ll reflect on  myself… and dun borther u any more… =)

haha… I GOT it.. the letter of admission to NIE…was so hyper yeaterday and ended up sleepon very very late… way over my already late schedule… i got the GENERAL de… not chinese language… then they say they wan me to teach english… yups… think my GP grades shock them ya?? haha… the first person i called was jolyne… hmm…. and was tellin her that i was shocked that i got the english language… actually i converse in surprisingly standard flawless singlish proof english when i am nervous only… that’s why the interviewers thought i can perform better in teachin english than chinese language… however… they do not know that usually i speak singlish and converse more in mandarine…

haha… but i dun mind any… cuz my english is also very powerful too =) hopefully i can be a good example for my students both in school and putside school… pls pray for me… and my students..

yup.. when i got the letter i was so excited and the first think i did was to give thanks… then i realised no matter wad words i use to thank GOD was still not enough and nothin can express my gratitude to him…i can finally go HK and play and play and play till i drop…

will like to thank Edna and ELphia for giving me tips all along… they were extremely helpful and caring… yesterday edna still reminded me to check out the pay raise thingy… i’ll make a mental note of it and will try my best to check it out on 31 st july… this tues.. where i have to make a trop down MOE to sign the contract… hehe

and two good news to share… ESTHER TAN got into NUS but i forgot wad course… i was shocked cuz i thought it was so not her to just enter into uni.. i thought she will really wait for wad she realli wan even if she have to wait a few yrs… cuz that’s the character of the WINNIE THE POOH gang…it’s the same for piglet too…hahaha… just in case jolyne is wondering..

and the other good news is that there is a fren of mine… not very close… but she got into the same course and postin as me… can be roommies lor… super excited… her character super good one… called melissa… and her bf kailun also super good… i closer to kailun though… but i am sure we will be super close at the end of everything… cuz so far we only know each other.the idea of at least havin sumone i know in a totally new environment makes me feel extremely relieved and takes some load off my already sluggish shoulders…

suying told me that group outin this sat( which is tml) is goin to take place with bao zhu aunty…. lookin forward to it!!!!! and our cell group need not splot up lei…. so happy…. though a bit not happy…but so far my happiness meter is 9.9999 out of 10… wheeee///

so many ppl i haven inform them abt the good news… hmmm… guess i’ll wait till they ask lor… gotte end here… goin to chase the bus out of the container in tuas… got two tuition kids later to tuition.. and i brought SK’s rat a tat cat to play with them… a bit of bonding ahhh….

ih ya today the ceiling of the container nearly felll down… it’s a environmental hazrad.. and i have to walk round and about to go to the toilet… in case the ceiling decides to give way at the exact moment when i am below it… and the steps also slidin away and i have to tiptoe gingerly so that i dun fall from it… however there is still this sense of sadness when 5.30 draws near cuz i know today is the last day when i will see this container and seat on this run down chair to type on a keyboard so worn that it no longer have those alphabets on it… i will miss everything =(

now at admin office…. haiz… nothing to do so come blog again…. just recovered from heavy flu… and i just realised why my wound two weeks ago haven recover… cuz i found out wad bit me… it was a spider… dirty yellow… size of 20 cent coin… never exaggerate… aiyo… dunno got poison de a notz…so scary…

yuppie… i finished readin harry potter and the deathly hollows…and was narratin the whole story to my sister yesterday night… it was so so… but glad harry didn’t die though… i am wondering whether there will be a sequel…. cuz it says the scar haven hurt for 19 yrs and draco is still alive and that harry seems to love his second son Albus a lot a lot more….but i am truly awed about JK Rowling’s plot cuz she os just amazin to link all the bits and parcel from book 2 onwards to book 7 to prepare for the grand endin… the fall of VOLDEMORT… hehehe….but i realised how difficult the plot is gettin and i thought it was suppossed to be a children’s book… for ages 9 to 11… its kinda difficult for children that young age to comprehen such complicated plot… maybe JK Rowling had to take into consideration the vast amount of readers of all ages readin her book and if the plot is too simple, it will be an insult of intelligence to those adults… lets hope that the kids will start readin book 1 when they are 9 to 11 yrs old and by the time they reach book 7, they will be of age to understand wad JK Rowling is tryin to explain…..

suddenly, a wave of excitment shot through me..i am thinkin of the trip that i am goin to make.. hmmm… not many ppl know my trip but it is more or less confirmed… hehe… wad’s the use of havin a blog when u cannot express yourself freely cuz u are worried that someone out there will read it and invade ur privacy… haiz…

anyway i will update the details of my trip day by day on blog… hehe.. so that can share with ppl wad excitin stuffs happened… and in order to ensure that i can make a safe trip to and fro i will

1. pray to father christ in heaven

2. start lookin out for poisonous 20 cent sized spiders that may see me as potential victim from now onwards…

3. buy presents and souvenirs for those ppl who pray for us… hehe

hehehehe… i finally go tthe book…. and is noe tryin to complete the series despite my super hectic schedule…super excited… i didn’t want anyone to tell me about the ending before i read it for myself…  that’s why i was so enthu to wanna get it on the first day…now workin admin job… just kanna scolded… not realli scolded la… but i think my boss mood not good…hehe….The phocopier machine spoil again… but this time it’s definitely not my fault le… cuz i was super far awaya from the machine when it cranked up… tml will be a fine day… cuz we are goin to museum for old shanghai toys…. hehe… with eunice and jolyne,,, dunno shao ning cumin a notz…. and we goin IKEA for it’s food… everyone says meat balls are nice there.. but i haven tried it yet… so excited for tml!!!!!!! eunice is cravin for their hotdog bread…hehe… tml i take off specially for the event… lookin forward for a DAY off…. whole day off… but at night got two tuition kids to tuition and then i can retire to bed…. BUT i promised myself one chapter of harry potter each night…think i’ll take ages to complete the book…

BUT it’s happy to know that HARRY did not die…. and he had three kids… just that it ginny he married that make me sad…. i was hopin for hermoine and him all along since book one…. sad sad… but sec choice still goes to ROn and Hermoine though….

yup yup…. i better go do my work le… =)

i got it i got it i got it…. yea my NIe letter came le… haha… but they wanted me to teach chinese language for primary school og general subjects… i wonder wad that means… the moment my dad came skippin through the front door holdin a white envelope gingerly balancing it inbetween his fingers, i knew this was it!!!! My ticket to HOLLIWOOD… just as American Idol shortlisted contestants will phrase it….

the moment i received the good news i thank God… and started informing everyone that i can think of through msging…. except for one person which i am still currently debatin whether i should tell him.. haha… just hope that he read my blog and get to know this news indirectly… haiz..

oh and i was watchin animal planet… historians uncovered a 30 foot long crocodile’s remains in Sahara desert… then they went out to capture real life crocodiles currently still lurking in the waters of the Earth and the record holder measures 17 feet… hmmm… the bones uncovered was actually the remains of the ancestors of modern day crocodile…so i gathered it had to be long because their daily diet consists of dinosaurs…but 30 feet is just so… HUGE!!!!!

another amazing thing was that the "remains" actually belonged to a crocodile, not Aligator… aligators have longer snouts that actually make up a longer length… crocodile have more powerful jaws and shorter snout… so this champion was actually 30 feet long…can U inagine it??? Thank God that humans didn’t coexist with dinosaurs durin that period…how do we stand a chance against all that BIG, TERRIFYING monsters…=(

Okie peeps, survival fact… if anyday, someday, by chance u find urself snapped inbetween crocodile or aligator jaws and they start to pull u in the water, RELAX… let them do their thing… when they are doing DEATHROLL ( act of spining u and draggin u deeper into the water so they can knock u out of air, drowning u), RELAX…JUST reach ur hand into its mouth and stretch as far as u can down its throat… pretty terrifyin??? HMMM… strive on till u touch a flap or barrier and push it as hard as u can…. accurately, is push till the flap opens inward… because that is an air flap, beyond there is the air storage room for them and if u push it open, water will gush into their lungs, causin them to release you and surface to breathe… hehe… COOl fact right… but it takes a lot of courage to place ur limbs into the jaws of a predaor that size…. just pray that u dun get targetted….

Eunice thanks for readin my blog entry… haha… and clarifyin some things with me… stay adorable as always gal… we shall have more of bimbotic talks soon…

think today a cloudy day… i didn’t sleep a wink yesterday cuz i need to set test papers for my tuition kids and whole day was spent tutorin LEOn and Wei peng… so tired… then i received a few msgs from johnson…. then somewhere from the msgs it triggered me to think… and think…and think… and concluded that i have character problems?? haiz… no one is perfect.. so i guess i’ll just accept me for wad it is… but the good news is..

since i am not perfect, those who still choose to be my frens muz be hundred percent confirmed plus chop that they like me for who i am!!! haha… and these frens that i have muz be super duper worth it cuz they can accept a flawed person like me….

oh ya.. tml goin to celebrate hup’s birthday…. hope i dun get lost this time… i just can’t seem to recognise roads.. and road signs dun seem to help a lot too… =(

yup.. i owe a lot of things to write on my blog.. the other thing other than brocoli that i like is SUNFLOWER… hmmm… the flower itself already speaks a lot about my character.. smile with sunshine… happy go lucky… that’s why sad stuffs can be thrown behind my back faster than the batter of ur eyelids…

jo’s poem i haven even started yet.. but jo already warned me not to use it as huan xi jian zheng.. hahaha… think she is breakin beads of cold sweat now..

ya… haircut day is not this sat but next wed or sat… have to reconfirm… but edna msged count her out… is it only me but i always feel that there is some kinda barrier no matter how i try to bridge it… maybe different ppl need different tactics???

birthday card for yi xin… i haven write yet.. so tired now that i can barely lift my fingers to type my entry…. think i will stop here..  may God guide my fren who just msged me that he was feeling giddy suddenly safely home…=)